FAMILY

What is a “family” really? Well, the “official” definition according to the On-Line Dictionary is as follows: 1) a group of parents and children living together in a household; 2) all the descendants of a common ancestor; and 3) a group of related things.

Somehow these definitions don’t quite sum up the meaning behind the word “family”. They seem cold and limited. Family is sometimes more of a FEELING than a pat definition. The word can evoke a feeling of warmth, or it can evoke a feeling of desolation and want. Take the first definition: “A group of parents and children living together”. This is one definition that can safely cover 99.9% of people. Someone gave birth to us, hence we have a “mother” – everyone falls into this category. You can’t be conceived without a certain donation (trying to keep this within the PG rating!), which gives you a “father”. Now, these two words – “mother” and “father” – I use very loosely at the moment. There is an entire series of blogs to delve deeper into “mothers” and “fathers. Let’s just stick with “family” for this one.

Another definition of “family” can be anyone who is related to you by blood. We have all heard the saying “Blood is thicker than water”, implying that “family” ties are a strong bond shared. That, too, can be refuted. What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word? What do you feel? Do you remember your family with warmth, or do you cringe at the word? Do you share a closeness with the people in your family, or are you wondering what it feels like to have that closeness which is implied by the word? A barrage of questions issued to delve into the heart of YOUR “family”.

Having “blood relations” does not guarantee you the closeness of a family. You can be together and wonder “where is the warmth I’m suppose to feel?” Or “Where is the friendship of a sister or brother?” You might also be thinking “What does it REALLY mean to have a mother? A father?” If you ARE asking questions like these, it’s safe to assume that family closeness doesn’t exist – otherwise the questions wouldn’t be asked! But you know what? A family that’s “messed up” is more the norm than a “close-knit” family. I bet you thought you were the only one with a weird family dynamic, hmm? You may come from a broken home, or have been raised by only one parent or the other. Or, you may not have even been brought up by your parents – or even grandparents. THAT is the gist of this blog – the fact that you can be a family without having that blood relationship or using the basic definition of “mother” and “father”.

If we’re lucky, we might come across people in our lives that fill an emptiness brought on by the absence of family. Someone who may love you like the word “mother” or “father” implies. Someone who loves you enough to scold you as well as praise you. Someone to fill that emptiness you feel from not belonging to your traditional family. Think about it. Who has been there for you throughout your lifetime? Maybe they aren’t with you anymore. Maybe you were lucky enough to have more than just one person walk through your life that taught you what family really is. Whether you’ve had only one person touch your life or two or three within a lifetime already fully lived, consider yourself lucky. Not everyone has had the chance yet to really KNOW the feeling of the word “family”. Are you in your teens, or your twenties? You still have a lifetime to live. You never know who you will come across that might fill the void. Someone who will see who you are, but like you anyway! Someone to criticize in love as well as bolster you up. Someone with advice when you falter, and teach you when you’re lost. In short, “FAMILY”. You don’t need to be related by blood or ancestry to feel like a family.

So, give it a little thought. Your own family is a disaster, but do you already have “family” in your life that you never considered? Consider it. You might be surprised!

Until next time,

Inge