Isn’t This BACKWARDS?!

I wrote in the article “Another Side Effect of Covid-19” about how you might be feeling claustrophobic and more than a little agitated in this day and age of requiring to stay indoors; not being able to even visit a neighbour; and the unbelievable changes in ordinary tasks – like going grocery shopping and going to the bank. There are some of you out there that know exactly of what I’m talking about.

So! We are now beginning to “open up” our country and our provinces. So what’s the problem? Are you finding that your stomach is clenching a little more tightly than even in the lockdown? Are you finding yourself a little bit more nervous now that life is beginning to find this “new normal” everyone is talking about? Are you asking yourself “What’s going on”? I think I might be able to enlighten some. Remember, I’m not a medical professional in any capacity. My “wisdom” so-to-speak comes from life and observation.

There is a danger in this era of isolation to people who have a tendency to withdraw into themselves in times of stress and confusion. A coping mechanism, so-to-speak. That danger is trying to crawl back OUT of yourself once the crises have passed. Trying to rejoin the world of the living can feel like a daunting task, can’t it? Hence the title “Isn’t This Backwards?!” Aren’t you suppose to feel good that this lockdown is over? Well, where others may be elated at being able to go out again, you may be feeling hesitant. Where others feel joy at being among people again, albeit with a face mask, you might be feeling trepidation. Other people can’t wait to begin living again, where you aren’t sure what that means anymore. The thought of going out is causing you more stress than the thought – and fact – of staying in did. What’s going on?

Well, these feelings are very real – and very intimidating. There is no point in trying to ignore them because doing so just adds more stress into your life. You need to embrace them. “Are you nuts?!” you might say. “Have you lost your mind?!” you might be thinking of me. No, I”m not nuts – well, maybe a little, it helps in these crazy times. Nor have I lost my mind – although it does go on vacation sometimes. No, this is something you need to handle if you’re going to get back into the swing of things. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, as long as you don’t let these feelings overwhelm you and cause you to withdraw even more into yourself. The fact that this is not the same world before isolation can in itself be a daunting thought. You don’t know what you’ll be facing. Can you really interact with people again? Yes. Will it be that different? Yes, again. Where you were able to smile at a passing stranger, well, that smile won’t be seen under the mask. However, you can still say “good morning” and/or “good afternoon”. You might have to say it a little louder than normal, but you can still say it. And your eyes can smile. Yes, they can!!

What you must realize is that everyone has the strength within themselves to conquer anything. Yes! Even you!! These feelings may not be the “norm” for everyone, but they are the “norm” for you. Recognize that and don’t put yourself down. Give yourself a “talking to” – it might be the funniest conversation you’ve had in a long time!! No, seriously, tell yourself that everything is O.K. Try to remember who you were BEFORE the lockdown and covid-19. That person is still there. You might have to wake yourself up again, but you’ll find that person again. If you are blessed to have good friends, lean on them. You might be surprised at how understanding they really are. And most of all, say a prayer before you venture out for the first – or second, or third, or ninth – time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – our Heavenly Father knows all and sees all. He can comfort you when you’re anxious; He can calm you when you feel out of control; He can put that spring back in your step. And if all else fails, see your doctor or a counsellor. There is no shame in needing some help to get started again despite what you may think – or hear! All of us need help at some point in our lives. The hardest part is recognizing when – and to ask for it.

In conclusion, remember: you ARE strong enough, and brave enough, and courageous enough, to muddle through and find what YOUR new normal will be. Be patient with yourself. I know, patience isn’t one of my strong suits either. ALL of us could use a little more patience: with ourselves AND with others. Don’t let anyone tell you that there is something wrong with you, because there isn’t. It just might take you a little longer to navigate life again. And you know what? That’s O.K., too.

Until next time,

Inge