Hello, again, everyone. After too much of a break, here I am again. A question before launching into my article: How many of you get a strange look when you try to tell someone you’re in pain? Especially if there is no outward sign emphasizing it. What do I mean by that? Read on.
Anyone suffering from chronic pain will tell you it really is no fun at all. Being in pain 24/7 takes a lot out of a person – physically AND emotionally – no matter the level of pain. It’s obvious (or it should be) that the more pain you are in, the greater the toll. So what happens when people will look at you and see absolutely no outward sign of what may be causing that pain? Oh, boy, do you get judged, and sometimes doubly so. It seems to be a human characteristic that people need to see a corresponding injury/problem on the outside to believe someone actually has a reason to say they are in pain. Unfortunately, no one can view the INSIDE of your body to make such a correlation. And therein lies the problem for many.
When people see you walking, talking, moving, maneuvering like a regular person, (I know, define “regular”, right? Just like trying to define “average” person!) they tend to think that there is nothing wrong. Try telling them you suffer from chronic pain, and you get the disbelieving looks and doubtful attitude. You might get told “You sure don’t look like you’re in pain”; or, “You don’t SOUND like you’re in pain (to which I still wonder just what exactly does a person in pain SOUND like?); or, “How can you be in pain when I’ve seen you do this, that, or the other thing”; or, what I think is the most damaging of comments, “It’s all in your head” and “You just can’t handle your pain; you’re being a baby” (or substitute “baby” for any other negative connotation). Why do I consider this last comment to be the most damaging? Well, it can create a huge complex of doubt within yourself: “If I’m being TOLD I can’t handle my pain, maybe I really can’t”. And that creates a wall where you end up saying less about your pain, doing more than you should, and/or putting yourself down in the most unfair manner. You begin to question yourself in an area where YOU are the most familiar with – and THAT creates even MORE pain, both physical and emotional. Let me tell you, YOU are the best judge of where your body is and how limited you are, and the only opinions that should matter are your doctor’s – and yours.
Now, please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should use your chronic pain as a reason to sit out on life. THAT is never acceptable – or it shouldn’t be, anyway. People who suffer from chronic pain are still able to do many, many things – they just have an added hurdle to overcome. I’m also not saying that you should tell every person you meet that you suffer from chronic pain. THAT might get people to think you’re just a “pain” in the a**. A bit harsh I know, but also a bit facetious. What I’m trying to get at is for you to not let some other person be yet another reason for limited choices – or harmful choices. There may already be many said choices that have been taken from you – don’t let someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about take away any more.
For those that do suffer from severe chronic pain, find a doctor you trust and sit down with said doctor and find some options to help you out so that you can have a better quality of life – whether that be physiotherapy, acupuncture, exercises and/or medications. Unfortunately, if you’re left with no other alternative but to have some sort of medication regimen, that in itself is yet another controversy. I say more about that in my March 6th, 2021 article “Dependence or Addiction: The Controversy Over Medications”. Being on meds is yet another topic that people don’t understand, and that just adds to the stress, but you don’t have to let it. Do whatever you can, in whatever way, for however long, in order for you to minimize the hurdles that you face. But, again, please see a trusted doctor. Yes, there are some REALLY PATHETIC medical professionals out there, but please don’t let that hinder you. Keep looking to find that TRUSTED doctor, because believe me, there are some real characters out there posing as medical professionals. Do not just seek a doctor who will blindly prescribe painkillers to you, but a doctor that cares enough to sit you down and give you some options. It makes all the difference.
In conclusion, I want to say one more thing. If you suffer from chronic pain and need some help with that, listen to this: YOU. ARE. NOT. WEAK. Just because you find you can’t handle the pain on your own, this does not mean you are a failure! You already have a strength that no one else will have – the strength of getting up every morning despite the pain; the strength to keep going throughout the day no matter what; the strength of knowing that this pain that sometimes overshadows everything will not overshadow your life. You are already strong. Lean on that strength every morning and throughout the day. And if you feel that strength wavering, seek your Heavenly Father in prayer. HE will be strong for you when you feel you have no strength left. HE will lift you up when you can’t lift yourself up anymore. HE will touch your pain when no one else can. The Spirit of our Heavenly Father is an amazing person. And, yes, His Spirit is very real, too.
Be safe, everyone, amongst this pandemic. Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong.
Until next time,
Inge
Life! And we're still here! Humble stumbles & bumbles! 