Featured

My First Blog Post

Greetings, fellow members of the human race. This blog is meant to be funny, sunny, sweet, sour, sometimes brutally honest, creatively sharing so that others might see that they are not alone. I come from the school of life. What I hope will happen here is a sharing of life’s moments so that others might learn. I am not a professional “anything”. What I share here comes from what I have learned throughout a lifetime of struggles, juggles, jiggles, wiggles, from childhood to now . . . and continuing on. My guidance comes from Above . . . Father, Son, and Holy Ghost my Guide and my Strength – even when I flounder, which I do so often – HE never deserts or departs. What comments or sharing I may offer are from me alone – one person, no scholastic degree, so please, take the words that will follow in future posts as coming from a flawed, floundering, sometimes water-treading 56-year-old women who despite life’s best shots is still here. Why am I here? That’s anybody’s guess!! Stay tuned, and again, WELCOME!

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Mother’s Day 2022 Part Two

For everyone with a mother’s heart.

The smiles and the laughter, the sighs and the tears,
Reveal the hope and the love, anxiety and fears.
Can one woman feel all this and more
For the one tiny being that her body bore?

Beneath her heart this miracle did grow,
Causing the highest of high and the lowest of low.
The feelings that came are all a’jumble,
Afraid to fail and cause to stumble.

For nine months mom thinks, and she wonders:
“Am I ready for this, or will I go under?”
“Will I know how to laugh? Will I know how to love
This precious child, this gift from above?

Before she knows it, this child breaks free
Of the womb that sheltered it, so she can see:
See that she’s ready? Oh, no, not at all.
How will she manage? How not to fall?

Years down the road she remembers the start;
With a smile on her lips and a tug on her heart.
She never would have guessed of that small child,
How upside down life could get, or how wild.

She feels the strong love that still grows every day,
Amidst all the fracas, the troubles, the fray.
So many failures, but so much success
Crowds through the memories; oh, it’s quite a mess!!

The child now a mother who looks on tenderly
While grandma and grandchild eye one another pensively.
This child, who now wonders, “Will I be like Mom?”
“Will I know how to laugh, to love, and have fun?”

You see, the child learns from the life of the mother;
An influence so profound, it’s like no other.
Mistakes will be made, how else can you learn
That the love of the child is something you earn.

A mother sees clearer when her child’s child is born.
She sees her mistakes and then becomes torn.
Will the child learn from the mistakes of the mother;
These mistakes that can tear at the heart like no other!

Then she looks closely in the child’s eyes
And sees all the love, the wonder and surprise.
The mother finally realizes, “I did my best
To pass on the love and all the rest.”

As much as the mother doesn’t want to let go,
With bittersweet pangs, oh, how she does know:
A child no longer but mother is she,
With all that I gave her, this child IS me!

written by Ingrid Ewikowski
May 10, 2020

Until next time,

Inge

Mother’s Day 2022 Part One

Today, being Mother’s Day, brings bittersweet thoughts and memories. I published this poem once before, but it seems to be appropriate to do so again, seeing what day it is. The most unselfish gift a mother can give their child is a home of safety, of love, of sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice comes in the form of giving that child to a family that is better able to care for it in a way that you are unable to do at this point in your life. I hope you see the two different types of “mother” in “My Legacy to Life”.

Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone;
Both I carried craddled beneath my heart.
One I love in life – the other is loved through memory,
But both I love equally and fiercely.
One looks upon me with loving & trusting eyes,
While the other looks upon another.
Yet both remain forever a part of my heart, of my soul.

One is with me in body – the other in spirit.
One I cry with – the other I cry for.
One brings to my life sunshine, laughter and love;
The other brings to my life a deep longing.

Both make their footprints upon this earth;
One with me – the other without me.
One continues to touch me with his presence;
The other with her absence;
and I continue to learn from both.

One is with me day & night, the other is with me no more,
Yet bothe are deeply of my life, of my heart, of my soul.
I may have given life to both,
. . . but both have returned life to me.

Would that the world could feel a tenth
of what he and she have given me.

written by Ingrid Ewikowski
March 4, 1996

Until next time,

Inge

WOW! There May Be Hope for the Human Race After All

Yes, you read that right. Among the trials and stresses and protests and restrictions, I found a family – or rather, they found me – that came to the rescue to someone in need (namely myself!).

A week ago (Friday, September 10, 2021) I was on my way to the lab not far from my place. It’s definitely within walking distance and so – you guessed it – I walked!! Full disclosure: I can’t get around outside my apartment unless I use my walker as a mobility aide. (Side-tracking a bit: I wrote an article on people needing mobility aides.). A-N-N-D I’m back to my topic of my amazement. The sidewalk that I was walking on was in terrible shape, and I mean TER-I-BLE! I usually watch where I plant my feet just so I don’t end up having a conversation with the cement!! However, – again, you guessed it – it seems I wasn’t paying enough attention to where I was plodding along. There was a slab of sidewalk that was raised about an inch above the rest of the slabs and my walker decided to stop dead in its tracks – but my body decided it was going to continue on despite what my walker wanted. I ended up having that conversation with the sidewalk I didn’t want to have! My inability to get back on my feet without help had me on the phone with the ambulance dispatch, asking for the paramedics to come, all the while making a spectacle of myself plutzed on the ground trying to right an up-ended walker!

While I was on the phone with ambulance dispatch, a truck rolled into a parking lot just feet from me, and out comes this gentleman asking if I’m OK. Ignoring the dispatcher for a moment, I explained to the gentleman (yes, I forgot his name – DRAT that! I think it may be Gerald) that I usually need two people helping me up, one on each side of me. “I’m pretty strong” he told me, but as a warning I told him that I’ve gained an incredible amount of weight (another DRAT aimed at the “Covid Diet”!!) Nevertheless, he came up behind me and on the second try he got me to stand on my own two feet! Now you might think at this point, the story ends. NOT!!

This gentleman asked me where I was going, and, seeing that his wife was at the doctor’s office and he wasn’t allowed in, he offered to walk me to the lab!! He parked his truck, gathered his young son out of the truck (the little fellow’s name is Thomas), and proceeded to walk with me to the lab. That’s definitely going above and beyond. Once at the lab, I asked if I could impose on him further by having him wait for me so that I could walk back with him to his truck. And he said he would wait!! I was just briefly going in and out. When I was done, I came outside to see this father playing with his son, and I heard the most wonderful sound – a child’s laughter. That alone is worth more than just an “honourable mention”. So, I walked with him back to where he parked his truck. O.K., at THIS point you might think I’m done with this long-winded story. But you would be wrong!!

Instead of going to his truck, this kind gentleman, with his young son at his side, said he would walk with me all the way to my home!! His wife was done at the doctor’s and he texted her the direction we were going so that she could catch up to us. Oh, yeah. Did I mention that his wife was pregnant? Yup! Not just “pregnant”; she had a due-date the following week!! I mean, THAT’S pregnant with a capital “P”!! So she joined her husband and son and I was “escorted” to the front entrance of the facility I live in!! Covid prevented me from giving the hug I wanted to give, but I could “verbally” give them a hug (yeah, that’s a thing now-a-days). 

One final thought for everyone out there. If you are the person that will be the helping hand, know this: no matter what kindness you impart – whether a gentle word, a helping hand, or just an ear to listen – know that your act of kindness will never be forgotten. YOU may never know the impact you have on someone, but believe me when I say you’ll make a difference in that person’s life. And it’s so easy to be the one imparting that kindness. All it will cost you is a little time. And time is about the only thing left that is free nowadays! So if you come across someone that seems a bit lost, or trying to hide their tears, or very obviously needs a literal helping hand, remember, you will make a difference!! And sometimes all a person needs is a smile! Remember: you never know when YOU will become the one needing that helping hand.

So, be kind, stay healthy, and keep smiling.

Until next time,

Inge

WE’RE FREE!!! But Do We Remember How?!?!

After another dry spell with my writing, I just have to post something about the return to life!! I’m not saying return to life “as we know it” because that life I’m afraid is really and truly behind us and not coming back. But with the vaccinations and still monitoring mask-wearing and distancing, we are coming back to the world of the living.

I don’t think things will ever be the same as before. So many have mourned the loss of loved ones brought on in one way or another by Covid-19. If you yourself haven’t lost a friend or family member, I’m sure you know someone who has, and it is heart-wrenching. But now we move forward and try to learn how to socialize again; how to hug one another; how to laugh and cry with one another in person rather than over ZOOM or SKYPE or WEB-CAM. Do you remember the feelings that accompany all this? The touch of a hand; a smile not covered by a mask; putting arms around another human being rather than a stuffed animal. It seems like a lifetime ago since we were able to do so. But let us remember to respect one another. Some people may not yet feel comfortable going without a mask or having close contact with another person. Respect that person’s choices and don’t denigrate their feelings. We are all moving forward as best as we can in the best way we know how.

Then we have the people who actually are feeling quite anxious at the thought of coming out of the four walls that have surrounded them for the last 15 or 16 months. These people didn’t get antsy being confined to home, they were actually more comfortable doing so. And where does that leave them now that everything is opening up again? It leaves them feeling vulnerable and panicky and out of their element. Seclusion was a balm to them, not a chore. Isolation comforted them, it didn’t drive them crazy. You might be thinking I’ve lost my mind saying that there are people who don’t want to come out after all that’s happened, but this is no joke. The feelings that surround and bombard these people are very real. Going out the door causes a near panic attack rather than excitement. The thought of being around another person brings on fear instead of comfort. Leaving the calm and quiet of their home brings on dread instead of peace. And all these feelings are very real and very frightening.

So what do you do if you are one of those people? Take it slow and easy. Work at rejoining the human race at your own pace. Remember that talking to people in person is just like talking to them over the computer – except you’ll be closer to them. And DON’T PUT YOURSELF DOWN!! There is nothing wrong with you if you’re finding it difficult to walk out the door. You’re just going to be doing so at a slower pace. Ease into putting yourself “out there” again. But . . . (don’t you know already there’s always a “but”?). In all seriousness though, if you find yourself facing a full-blown panic attack and have literally a physical reaction to going out again – seek help. Talk to your doctor, a counsellor, a pastor and/or a friend. You don’t have to re-enter the world of the living by yourself. Find someone to go out with; seek courage through prayer; start by visiting a neighbour – anything that would help ease the fear of going out. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: there is nothing wrong with seeking help if you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes it takes more courage to ask for help than it does to stay quiet and deal with things on your own. And be patient. You’ve been out of the mainstream for quite some time and it may be slow going at first. Again, please don’t put yourself down if that is the case. The world is full of a whole variety of people and you are among them.

In conclusion, whether you are flying out the door or stuck on your couch; whether you’re a social butterfly or a quiet persona; whether you’re running out the door or only walking towards the door; remember to take care of one another. Be kind and patient and courteous. If you are out and about and see someone who looks very unsure and seems to cringe from people, gently say hello to them and ask if you can help in some way. Don’t overwhelm them but let them know with a smile and a nod that all will be O.K. You might be surprised at the reaction you get – a smile in return and a quiet “thank you”. You will be remembered for your gentleness. So, stay safe, stay kind, and stay healthy.

Until next time,

Inge

Look! Do You See Them? The Quiet Helpers

This Post is in recognition of those people that seem to fall between the cracks. I’m not talking about the obvious helpers like first responders, doctors, nurses, etc. Although they DO deserve our thanks and our recognition. I’m talking about the person that is quietly in your life, helping you and/or others out, and they do it without wanting recognition or compensation. These kind people are everywhere if you would just look.

On my morning walk, I pass two ladies almost every day. One lady is blind, but always in good spirits. Her companion is also always in good spirits. It’s this companion that prompted me to write this article. She carries with her a long pole and while she holds on to one end, she leads this sightless lady holding on to the other end. Her companion never fails to smile, nor does she bring attention to herself as a helper. She just gets up every morning and meets her friend for that day’s stroll in the sunshine and fresh air.

If you take the time to look around, you might see many more such quiet helpers: the person accompanying someone in a wheel chair; the lady in the cashier line that picks up a dropped item from someone who can’t bend down; the gentleman who opens the door for someone with a walker; the person who quietly ask “Are you O.K.?” when you’re in tears; someone pushing the shopping cart for a senior or disabled person; a neighbour who picks up your mail and brings you a cup of coffee; and the list goes on and on. None of these people helping out are looking for recognition. In fact, if someone WERE to say something, this helper usually reacts with humbled thanks while looking quite uncomfortable being singled out for something they’ve done.

What can we do about this? Especially if the person is uncomfortable if noticed? Notice them anyway. Give them a smile; a quiet “thank you”; a touch on the arm (although with Covid still kicking around, no one likes to touch or be touched!). And you can remember this person you saw in your prayers. Ask God to watch over them as they watch over others. And you can learn something from these people. Maybe YOU might just be prompted to help someone who needs it. But doing so without looking for a “thank you” or any kind of recognition. Helping out just because someone needs it – for no other reason than you’re there at that particular time.

Or you might BE one of those people that go through life quietly lending a helping hand. If you ARE such a person, let me say “THANK YOU”. “Thank You” for noticing when someone needs help; “Thank You” for your smile; “Thank You” for your thoughtfulness; and especially “Thank You” for being who you are. In this fast-paced world of ours where too many people just worry about themselves and are drowning in stress – especially nowadays – you are a beacon of light to every person you help. And never forget: there is always Someone who sees EVERYTHING – our Heavenly Father above. He sees your kindness every time – even if no one else does.

In conclusion, anyone can be that “quiet helper”. All you have to do is step outside of yourself and notice the people around you. You never know who you’ll see that needs a helping hand. You also never know when YOU might end up needing the help of one of these unassuming people! When you do, I’m sure you’ll never look at people the same way. Let’s hope it doesn’t take a need you yourself have before you decide to be one of the “quiet helpers” of the world.

Until next time,

Inge

Are We Really That Bad? The Loss of Common Courtesy and Decency

This article will be a bit of a rant. I have said for quite some time now – years in fact – that there are two things that really don’t exist anymore in this world: common courtesy, and common sense. I want to focus on common courtesy today, but there is an incredible amount to say about common sense as well – in another article.

Something happened to me this morning that made it so glaringly clear it was literally a kick in the rear. Well, maybe not a “kick” per se, seeing as a sidewalk can’t kick you!! Confused? Here is what happened. I was out for my early morning walk today when almost immediately my walker decided to hit a rut, which caused me to walk into said walker, which caused me to land on my knees in front of – you guessed it – said (again) walker. Now I’m not telling this for sympathy, – or chastisement as some might gear up a lecture – I’m telling you this to show you how far humans have fallen down the slope of caring for others. While my rear was conversing with the cement, I watched car after car drive by, and person after person get out of cars across the street, and not a single soul came over to this not-very-skinny blob sitting on the sidewalk – I was hardly invisible! I was waiting for the paramedics to come, as I was the perfect specimen of the cliched saying “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!” Ignoring the cold cement – and yes, the cement really WAS cold this morning – I continued to wonder what exactly happened to humanity to turn everyone so cold.

Believe me, my thoughts weren’t very kind towards the rest of humanity at that moment. And yes, I know that we’ve all been under enormous stresses for over a year with all these restrictions, and confusion around said restrictions. We’ve been “socially” distancing for so long that we’ve forgotten what a handshake is!! But is that an excuse to ignore your fellow man (or “woman” in my case)? What has happened to us? Are we really only concerned with me, myself and I? Do we not have any room in our world for even the barest of human decencies? I was hardly invisible, and the discourse I was having with the sidewalk was turning a little “frigid”. Finally, just before the paramedics arrived, a kind-hearted, soft-spoken lady came up to me and did ask if I was O.K. My “knee-jerk” (pun intended) reaction was to say “No, I just thought I would ponder the wisdom of the sidewalk this morning”!! Thankfully my brain went into gear before my mouth engaged and I just as quietly answered her question. She stayed with me and flagged down the ambulance as they were perusing the sidewalk looking for me while coasting down the road.

I have to say something here about paramedics. They are just priceless. Even though they venture to every call not really knowing what they’ll find, they show up with a caring tone in their voice and a helping hand at the ready. The two ladies that assisted me this morning were just fantastic. They were friendly and smiling through their masks. Even my warning of “I’m pretty heavy due to the covid diet” didn’t discourage them. They found a way to untangle my legs, lift up this blob passing as a person, and ended my discourse with the sidewalk! So, all-in-all, everything worked out. Except for that tiny little fact about the extinction of concern for your fellow man.

What am I trying to get across in this tirade? I’m trying to appeal to a person’s better nature. Don’t be so busy with your life and stresses that you forego your simple human decency. Yes, I know there are people that have quite a lot on their mind, and have all the burdens they can carry. But how much effort does it really take to walk up to a person and ask if they’re O.K.? How much time does it really take to just stop and keep someone company while they wait for help? Are we really that pressed for time? The thing to remember here? You never know when YOU are going to be that person who gets introduced to the ground. Yes, you might be in great shape now and get yourself up again, but the years do go by fairly quickly. Before you know it, you will be in the season of your life where help is needed – and not available. So, if you see someone who looks a little lost; a person who seems to be in tears; or clearly needs help; don’t forget: that may be you some day! Spare a little time to ask quietly “Are you O.K.?” If they say no, spare a little more time to show you do have some feelings. That your heart and your soul haven’t frozen up beyond any possibility of melting. That your orbit can include someone in need. It’s the human thing to do – the DECENT thing to do. And believe me, you WILL be remembered for your actions. You may never see that person again, but what they’ll remember is this: when they were in a quandary, someone cared enough to stop. It doesn’t matter whether this person is homeless or wearing designer clothes and fabulous jewelry, EVERYONE needs – and deserves – a little kindness from the heart. Show them courtesy and decency isn’t extinct.

Until next time,

Inge

Mother’s Day 2021 Part Three

For everyone with a mother’s heart.

The smiles and the laughter, the sighs and the tears,
Reveal the hope and the love, anxiety and fears.
Can one woman feel all this and more
For the one tiny being that her body bore?

Beneath her heart this miracle did grow,
Causing the highest of high and the lowest of low.
The feelings that came are all a’jumble,
Afraid to fail and cause to stumble.

For nine months mom thinks, and she wonders:
“Am I ready for this, or will I go under?”
“Will I know how to laugh? Will I know how to love
This precious child, this gift from above?

Before she knows it, this child breaks free
Of the womb that sheltered it, so she can see:
See that she’s ready? Oh, no, not at all.
How will she manage? How not to fall?

Years down the road she remembers the start;
With a smile on her lips and a tug on her heart.
She never would have guessed of that small child,
How upside down life could get, or how wild.

She feels the strong love that still grows every day,
Amidst all the fracas, the troubles, the fray.
So many failures, but so much success
Crowds through the memories; oh, it’s quite a mess!!

The child now a mother who looks on tenderly
While grandma and grandchild eye one another pensively.
This child, who now wonders, “Will I be like Mom?”
“Will I know how to laugh, to love, and have fun?”

You see, the child learns from the life of the mother;
An influence so profound, it’s like no other.
Mistakes will be made, how else can you learn
That the love of the child is something you earn.

A mother sees clearer when her child’s child is born.
She sees her mistakes and then becomes torn.
Will the child learn from the mistakes of the mother;
These mistakes that can tear at the heart like no other!

Then she looks closely in the child’s eyes
And sees all the love, the wonder and surprise.
The mother finally realizes, “I did my best
To pass on the love and all the rest.”

As much as the mother doesn’t want to let go,
With bittersweet pangs, oh, how she does know:
A child no longer but mother is she,
With all that I gave her, this child IS me!

written by Ingrid Ewikowski
May 10, 2020

Until next time,

Inge

Mother’s Day 2021 Part Two

Today, being Mother’s Day, brings bittersweet thoughts and memories. I published this poem once before, but it seems to be appropriate to do so again, seeing what day it is. The most unselfish gift a mother can give their child is a home of safety, of love, of sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice comes in the form of giving that child to a family that is better able to care for it in a way that you are unable to do at this point in your life. I hope you see the two different types of “mother” in “My Legacy to Life”.

Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone;
Both I carried craddled beneath my heart.
One I love in life – the other is loved through memory,
But both I love equally and fiercely.
One looks upon me with loving & trusting eyes,
While the other looks upon another.
Yet both remain forever a part of my heart, of my soul.

One is with me in body – the other in spirit.
One I cry with – the other I cry for.
One brings to my life sunshine, laughter and love;
The other brings to my life a deep longing.

Both make their footprints upon this earth;
One with me – the other without me.
One continues to touch me with his presence;
The other with her absence;
and I continue to learn from both.

One is with me day & night, the other is with me no more,
Yet bothe are deeply of my life, of my heart, of my soul.
I may have given life to both,
. . . but both have returned life to me.

Would that the world could feel a tenth
of what he and she have given me.

written by Ingrid Ewikowski
March 4, 1996

Until next time,

Inge

Mother’s Day 2021 (Part One)

Hello to everyone and Happy Mother’s Day. This is the second Mother’s Day amidst this totally tiresome, extremely frustrating, and completely nerve racking pandemic. Who would have thought last year that we would still be within the clutches of Covid-19?

Mother’s Day is suppose to be where we honour the woman who bore us and/or the woman who raised us. However, not everyone will celebrate today on a positive note. As I stated last year, there are many different types of “Mothers” out there, whether blood-related or not. Sometimes you get a mother that is no blood relation to you at all, but a mother nonetheless. This woman that you call “mother” can come from anywhere. “Mother” comes from the heart and the soul, not from blood.

However, there are also people out there that may find this day very difficult. “Why would they?” you may ask. Well, some may have a mother, yet the closeness and/or caring just isn’t there. Some may have borne a child, but through whatever circumstances had to let that child go (See “Mother’s Day 2021 – Part Two that bears repeating.) And some may have lost a child to a reason that had been beyond their control.

If you have a mother in your life, consider yourself fortunate. Moms can be irritating, obnoxious at times, strict beyond our understanding, but if you have a mother that loves you, that is a precious thing. And mothers, if you have a child/children, that too, is a precious gift. You may not see the influence you have on your child/children yet, but never doubt, influence them you will, for better or for worse. Don’t ever take a mother and/or a child for granted. There are people out there that ache for the closeness of having a child in their arms just as there are children who ache for the love of a mother. And both may not have found either love or closeness.

What a morose article this one is, hmm? This should be a positive day; a loving day; a joyous celebration of mother and child, yet for some reason I can’t help but feel for those people whose arms are empty, whether woman or child. We do focus so much on the mothers that are here that we forget those that have a hard time on this day. No one likes to focus on the negative so it gets swept under the carpet, whispered about in groups, but never confronted. That is so sad for the people who have these empty arms.

So, when you see your mother today, whether in person or over a screen, send her a “hug”. Yes, I know we can’t literally “hug” our mothers, at least not yet. Be creative in showing your love. Flowers might sound cliche, but they still get the job done. And if you see a woman whose face just can’t seem to get that smile going, who seems a little lost and forlorn, remember, she just might be one of those women with empty arms.

Be safe. Be well.

Until next time,

Inge

“No, It’s Not In My Head!” Suffering From Chronic Pain

Hello, again, everyone. After too much of a break, here I am again. A question before launching into my article: How many of you get a strange look when you try to tell someone you’re in pain? Especially if there is no outward sign emphasizing it. What do I mean by that? Read on.

Anyone suffering from chronic pain will tell you it really is no fun at all. Being in pain 24/7 takes a lot out of a person – physically AND emotionally – no matter the level of pain. It’s obvious (or it should be) that the more pain you are in, the greater the toll. So what happens when people will look at you and see absolutely no outward sign of what may be causing that pain? Oh, boy, do you get judged, and sometimes doubly so. It seems to be a human characteristic that people need to see a corresponding injury/problem on the outside to believe someone actually has a reason to say they are in pain. Unfortunately, no one can view the INSIDE of your body to make such a correlation. And therein lies the problem for many.

When people see you walking, talking, moving, maneuvering like a regular person, (I know, define “regular”, right? Just like trying to define “average” person!) they tend to think that there is nothing wrong. Try telling them you suffer from chronic pain, and you get the disbelieving looks and doubtful attitude. You might get told “You sure don’t look like you’re in pain”; or, “You don’t SOUND like you’re in pain (to which I still wonder just what exactly does a person in pain SOUND like?); or, “How can you be in pain when I’ve seen you do this, that, or the other thing”; or, what I think is the most damaging of comments, “It’s all in your head” and “You just can’t handle your pain; you’re being a baby” (or substitute “baby” for any other negative connotation). Why do I consider this last comment to be the most damaging? Well, it can create a huge complex of doubt within yourself: “If I’m being TOLD I can’t handle my pain, maybe I really can’t”. And that creates a wall where you end up saying less about your pain, doing more than you should, and/or putting yourself down in the most unfair manner. You begin to question yourself in an area where YOU are the most familiar with – and THAT creates even MORE pain, both physical and emotional. Let me tell you, YOU are the best judge of where your body is and how limited you are, and the only opinions that should matter are your doctor’s – and yours.

Now, please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should use your chronic pain as a reason to sit out on life. THAT is never acceptable – or it shouldn’t be, anyway. People who suffer from chronic pain are still able to do many, many things – they just have an added hurdle to overcome. I’m also not saying that you should tell every person you meet that you suffer from chronic pain. THAT might get people to think you’re just a “pain” in the a**. A bit harsh I know, but also a bit facetious. What I’m trying to get at is for you to not let some other person be yet another reason for limited choices – or harmful choices. There may already be many said choices that have been taken from you – don’t let someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about take away any more.

For those that do suffer from severe chronic pain, find a doctor you trust and sit down with said doctor and find some options to help you out so that you can have a better quality of life – whether that be physiotherapy, acupuncture, exercises and/or medications. Unfortunately, if you’re left with no other alternative but to have some sort of medication regimen, that in itself is yet another controversy. I say more about that in my March 6th, 2021 article “Dependence or Addiction: The Controversy Over Medications”. Being on meds is yet another topic that people don’t understand, and that just adds to the stress, but you don’t have to let it. Do whatever you can, in whatever way, for however long, in order for you to minimize the hurdles that you face. But, again, please see a trusted doctor. Yes, there are some REALLY PATHETIC medical professionals out there, but please don’t let that hinder you. Keep looking to find that TRUSTED doctor, because believe me, there are some real characters out there posing as medical professionals. Do not just seek a doctor who will blindly prescribe painkillers to you, but a doctor that cares enough to sit you down and give you some options. It makes all the difference.

In conclusion, I want to say one more thing. If you suffer from chronic pain and need some help with that, listen to this: YOU. ARE. NOT. WEAK. Just because you find you can’t handle the pain on your own, this does not mean you are a failure! You already have a strength that no one else will have – the strength of getting up every morning despite the pain; the strength to keep going throughout the day no matter what; the strength of knowing that this pain that sometimes overshadows everything will not overshadow your life. You are already strong. Lean on that strength every morning and throughout the day. And if you feel that strength wavering, seek your Heavenly Father in prayer. HE will be strong for you when you feel you have no strength left. HE will lift you up when you can’t lift yourself up anymore. HE will touch your pain when no one else can. The Spirit of our Heavenly Father is an amazing person. And, yes, His Spirit is very real, too.

Be safe, everyone, amongst this pandemic. Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong.

Until next time,

Inge